Oh depression, you are a tricky mistress.

The last 44 days have probably been the most trying I have had to face in my adult life. Which is saying a lot. That is also why I haven't posted either. Which honestly is a little backward, as this would have been more therapeutic than my current choices: nap a LOT, graze, TV, wine, nap more.

Let me get you up to speed.

February 1 - Got into a car accident that destroyed the front end of my car, but only kind of scratched the other car. A very annoying and traumatic Wednesday. Spent the day on the phone with a dozen different companies trying to straighten out everything and acquire a rental. Granted this wasn't my first accident, so moving on from that wasn't the end of the world. Also, thank goodness for car insurance, because out of the $5,000 worth of damage, I still only had to pay my $500 deductible.

February 2 - Got laid off. Out of the blue. Like a slap in the face. Like an unexpected break up. I did not see this coming. Not even a little. You know it's bad when my director was in tears telling me this. I spent a lot of the first day week crying on and off, just like in a bad breakup. Confusion, hurt, angst, worry, stress. Yup, definitely like a break up.

44 days later, I'm still dealing with it. I have good days where I feel motivated and like nothing can stop me. Then I have days where moving from the couch, or the floor with the computer, seems like too much to accomplish. Hell, putting on a bra is asking too much most days.

My saving grace and why I haven't completely lost my mind? My boyfriend and my "boys".

February 16 - I acquire two little loves of my life (OMG I have had them a whole month now?!). Otherwise known as Eli and Coal.

Though "brothers from separate mothers", they are definitely siblings. One minute they look/sound like they are trying to kill one another, the next they are cuddled up together being cute as can be. See above example.

My dear boyfriend is great at getting me back on track on my off days. Ever the optimist, he has never doubted that we will be ok, things will work themselves out, and we can move forward together through this to accomplish everything else we want to.

So while I am constantly dancing with my "mistress", as she keeps stepping on my toes and trying to trip me, my boys have done a good job of cutting in when I need a little rescuing.

The Evolution of Date Night

I didn't really date in high school; partially because I wasn't allowed to, partially because I was "one of the guys" and it didn't occur to me that I was "datable."

Fast forward to dating as an adult (since I lack dating as a teen).

Early in the budding relationship, the "honeymoon" stage, is when Date Night consists of nice dinners, movies, pleasant walks, people watching in the mall before or after the movie. After all, we want to impress/be impressed by the person we are with.

Once a relationship is officially established, both parties decide they are happy with only that one person and embrace the monogamy. Spend a little more time together. See each other more frequently. Date Night now is a movie after work, or a nice dinner, or a dollar show with a quick meal before. Less romance, but still quality time together with each other.

Then there is the point in the relationship where you are either over all the time, or living together already. All habits, good and bad, are now known by the other person. It is more practical to stay in and cook because there are mutual goals being saved for. This is when Date Night becomes trying a new burger place in the area, followed by a trip to Costco and Jewel for groceries.

But you know what? The evolution of Date Night is a nice thing. It's comfy. It is more about appreciating the person you are with and enjoying the mundane tasks with someone you truly care about. So I am definitely alright with our grocery store dates, it means that I don't have to do these things alone, because I have someone who wants to be there with me for the day to day things.

Magic foods

"Magic foods" is the greatest thing ever.

What, pray tell, is "magic foods" you ask? It is that phenomenon where you come home after a long day and there is dinner waiting for you, all wrapped up and ready to eat. 

You never realize how awesome it is until you don't have it any more. Having moved out of home for the third time now, I think I miss it even more because it is officially a thing of the past. I don't foresee myself moving back home (again) where the magic foods is located.

Part of the problem is I have minimal desire to actually cook for myself. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to cook and bake, but when doing do so for one, it's not the same. I like to share food, enjoy the flavors, the conversation, the experience. Otherwise, cereal, popcorn or noodles are completely acceptable when by myself.

This evening an easy meal won out over cereal: tacos. Ground chuck, seasonings, avocado, mango pear salsa and white corn tortillas. Fairly easy and extra delicious.

Tomorrow I have left over "Creamy" Lasagna from last night when Tony was here. Almost qualifies as Magic Foods, except I prepared it myself and have to reheat it myself.

Moment of silence for the loss of Magic Foods

Patience is a virtue

I don't think we emphasize patience enough to kids. Instant gratification is a delusion that we shouldn't encourage.

Granted, I don't have kids, so no one chase me down for that.

But really, this condo has been the ultimate test in patience. Not going to lie, I definitely took on more than I originally wanted to and feel incredibly overwhelmed. I have had my vision for this place since I first walked in and had the "OMG I LOVE IT!! Everything has to go." moment; that has never been the problem. The problem is waiting for everything to get done. Eventually. Not on my desired time frame. *insert twitchy, control issues here*

It has come a long way in the last 6 weeks though. My floors are done. The trim is almost done. The walls are technically done, if you ignore all the touching up I have to do because of a shit contractor. I have all my furniture. One of my two bathrooms is done, for the most part. But I am still living in my condo like it is a studio apartment with boxes of stuff everywhere. Why you ask? Mainly because I have a kitchen with no counters. We are going on the fourth time around for ordering them because they were either damaged or the wrong dimensions. There is also the matter of the one counter that is completely MIA. Frustrating is an understatement. So the second bedroom is storage. The master bedroom has construction stuff for the unfinished projects. There are "kitchen" boxes in my front room, along with broke counter tops. It's dusty chaos. So much dust. So much chaos. Did I mention the dust everywhere?

This project has been the ultimate test in patience.

So since all my patience is wrapped up in my condo, this means I have little left to allocate elsewhere. Just giving a friendly heads up.

Food Festivities

One thing I have noticed, is that once you are considered "grown up" you automatically get a new realm of responsibility. Especially if you have your own place or family: Couple + kid (or) house = hosting assumption.

With any luck, one can avoid this with much ease, provided you are crafty about doing so.

For example: holiday dinners. Regardless of whether it is Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, or whatever other holiday one might have family over for, some how a default question is "So, what are you making for (insert group meal here)?" Now, while I have no kids, I have also never had anywhere to host anything until recently, so avoiding this was easy. I just went where the food was. If I did it right, I was able to spread out the food festivities over a few days.

This year, as I technically have a place (not quite fully inhabitable yet as I am missing a few major details) I had offered to host a Christmas dinner for my blood family. That fell through due to aforementioned issues, so my brother's girlfriend offered up their place for replacement. So I still had cooking responsibility, but no longer hostess responsibility. My brother's girlfriend must be a bit of a masochist though, as our Christmas was the third they had hosted. (See above equation) Despite the last minute location move as well as shopping for food, it was a really good evening.

Then I talked to my aunt later that same night. Somehow I have inadvertently agreed to do Easter at my house this next year. I can't tell you the last time I spent Easter with my family (again, I go where the food/people already are) so this will be different. I don't even know when Easter is, but apparently I am hosting this year.

I must say though, to be at dusk of my 28th year, and only now be hosting a holiday, I have been fairly good at skirting this assumed responsibility of being "grown up." Depending on how Easter goes, I might offer up another holiday, but that wouldn't be until Christmas so I have some time to recover.

Epicurious

You know what's great about being grown up? Alcohol.

You know what's even better than alcohol? Events that are centered around alcohol!

No, I do not have a problem. So don't judge me.

Anyway. Living 20 minutes from a large, diverse and culturally exciting city definitely has its perks once you enter a state of 'grown.' In the summer there is fest ever weekend somewhere in the city. Ove could literally eat their way though the warm months here (which is ironic since that's when everyone is 'trying' to watch what they eat.)

The cooler months are no different, it just takes a bit more effort. My favorites are the wine events. What is better than hundreds of wines paired with all sorts of edibles?! Not much to be honest.

That is until my boyfriend and I found a place that does a beer and bacon tasting. Oh. My. Goodness. Now don't get me wrong, I still prefer wine, but I can definitely appreciate a quality beer, especially when paired with various bacon flavors. Food is that much more enjoyable when someone that is passionate about what they are serving takes the time to explain what it is you are enjoying and why.

I think I am going to make it my new year's goal to attend at least two new food/beverage events a month. Expanding my pallet sounds like a delicious 'resolution' to me.

The relevance of time

I have found that as I grow up, time has evolved into something I am forever trying to figure out. As soon as I think I have, I am once again proven wrong.


Example A: The "average" work week. 5 days long. 8 hours a day. Nothing rocket science about this. However, have something exciting waiting for you at the end of that week, and it feels like eons before you get done. Or have trying projects, coworkers, customers, etc and the week feels like purgatory where you can't pray enough for it to be done.


Example B1: The weekend. If there is nothing of significance going on, a weekend can feel like it lasts f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Not that you want Monday to get here any quicker, but you certainly don't want to get ready for bed and realize it is only 7p.

Example B2: The weekend. On the polar side of this, you have the weekend that follows the former part of "Example A." You wait all week for the weekend like a kid waits for Christmas morning and Santa. When it finally gets here, you are beside yourself with joy. You wake up early and go to sleep late to maximize your ability to enjoy it. But despite your best efforts, Monday is knocking on your door and got your alarm in on the plot for kicking your ass and making it feel like you were just in a time warp that didn't actually happen. All you have are faint memories and gummie bears as proof of the joy that passed too swiftly.

Example C: The promise. As as adult, we tend to be cynically hopeful. While it doesn't seem like a logical combination, it is. Take my word for it. Work promises us, family promises us, friends promise us. We are hopeful that things follow through, but we are doubtful just in case they don't. "Hope for the best, but expect the worst" is a pretty clear way of putting it.

Example D: The year. Ever January we make lists of how this year is going to be different. How we are going to improve our lives, act different, eat different, work different, date different, etc. And then, before we know it, Spring is upon us with it's dewy glow of hope for something wonderful. Summer follows close after, not missing a beat, comforting us with its warm embrace. Fall sneaks up on us, lets us think that we have some more time left to hang out with Summer, only to realize that while we were distracted with the warmth, the smells, the food, everything around us changed. And before we are even able to get our barrings on what just happened, winter swoops in with is bitter attitude and slaps us in the face. Reminds us who is boss. We bundle up. Find our layers. Huddle together for warmth wondering where the year went and what we did with it.

On the plus side, I was actually quite productive with my year and pleased as to where I am at the moment. Made a lot of life decisions, and they seem to be working out for the better. However, in regards to Example C, when someone tells you a time frame for something to be done, multiply that by two and a half (minimally) and then be prepared to expect exactly that, if not longer. THAT, my friends, has been my most recent disappointment with time.